Party-Time Freakout

We are only shoes and diaper bag away from getting in the car to go to his buddy’s 2nd birthday. But after crying and saying “sleep!” for a while, he’s now passed out while nursing. 



 He doesn’t know the difference or care one way or the other, but I totally want cake, and I want two hours of hanging out with other moms while Charlie wears himself out for a healthy night’s sleep. Instead he got worn out by the primping process and absolutely cannot deal. 

Let Him Eat Cake

For his first birthday, Charlie got his face around his first dessert ever. He led with his face and went straight for the frosting. And since we’re rookies, cupcake was the last thing to happen before bed time.

Making good life choices.

Making good life choices.

None of us slept.
We’re having a little birthday cookout for him this weekend. We’ll be having cake early.

Baby No More

As of today, I no longer have an infant. And according to all of my baby day-to-day apps, I no longer even have a “baby.” Charlie woke up this morning as a one-year-old. I officially have a toddler.


Second and third: ALSO FEELINGS!

The best news for my mental health is that he can no longer die of SIDS. But I did recently read that he’s statistically much more likely to have a tragic injury as a toddler, because he has all this physical and athletic ability and zero judgement. For example, the other morning, he dove off the guest bed, forehead first, even with his dad and grandma sitting on it with him and actively tending to him. He decided he wanted to get on the ground and that this would be the best way to do it. He now has a big ol’ bruise on his forehead, but this has not stopped him from trying to jump from additional beds and couches forehead first. I’ve caught him by the ankle at least three times since then.┬áHis fine motor skills have also come a long way. He found a spot in our bedroom where the door frame doesn’t go all the way to the floor, and he’s used his newfound ability to grasp small objects to dig out loose bits of drywall and place them in his mouth. I’ve kept him from successfully swallowing any, but he’s working on it.

I don’t know how to take care of and keep up with a toddler. In terms of childproofing, as Andy put it, we’re always fighting the last battle. As soon as we put up a gate, he learns to climb up the gate, and so on. Fortunately, neurotic hyper-vigilance is one of my strengths, so he’ll probably be fine.

My toddler visited me at work today so we could have lunch together for this momentous birthday occasion. He probably drove himself. Tomorrow he’ll graduate from college and marry a nice girl from Philadelphia.


Seriously, guys. I haven’t even come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant yet, and now I don’t even have a baby. I have a toddler.


The baby I had, as best I can recall, yesterday. Maybe the day before.


The toddler who greeted me for his birthday lunch this afternoon.

18 Ways to Celebrate Football / Groundhog / Grandma Miriam Day

Grandma Miriam looking somewhat horrified as she sips tea (or possibly coffee) on her wedding day.

Grandma Miriam looking somewhat horrified as she sips tea (or possibly coffee) on her wedding day.

Today would have been my Grandma Miriam’s 89th birthday. She passed away a while back, but she had a lot of admirable traits and I’m sorry that Charlie won’t get the chance to know her. As such, I’ve decided that we will celebrate her life today by doing some things she liked. As luck would have it, she enjoyed watching football and having chili, so most of America will be celebrating her legacy today. I hope to make this a tradition on the birthdays of relatives that Charlie didn’t get to know. Since Grandma Miriam’s birthday won’t always fall on Super Bowl Sunday, here are some ways we might celebrate in years to come:

  1. By playing gin rummy
  2. By listening to Sousa marches
  3. By making cream cheese-based dips that go well with potato chips
  4. By smoking a Camel cigarette
  5. By listening to “Those Fabulous Hits of World War II” on cassette tape
  6. By wearing a floral mumu
  7. By voting
  8. By not fooling with it
  9. By declining to associate with no-goodnicks
  10. By watching Yankee Doodle Dandy on VHS
  11. By going to the movies
  12. By going for a walk by the beach
  13. By wearing a sweatshirt with a rabbit illustration captioned, “Oh no! Another grey hare!”
  14. By going to the race track
  15. By playing penny slots at The Four Queens in Las Vegas
  16. By sleeping with our feet uncovered so they don’t get hot
  17. By accomplishing the tasks set before us with minimal fuss
  18. By watching Groundhog’s Day. I don’t know that she had a strong opinion about the film one way or another, but it’s a great movie, yeah? And when your birthday falls on February 2nd, this is how people are bound to celebrate.

UPDATE: Grandma Miriam’s birthday is actually tomorrow. But I’m not going to be home tomorrow, and we’re not having chili tomorrow. Next year, we’ll celebrate on February 3rd, like good grandchildren.